Or, “How to Rebuild a Political Party, in as Few Words as Possible.”

As the rhetoric leading up to this weekend’s Liberal convention in Ottawa begins in earnest I must—I simply must—say my piece.

I am a card-carrying member of the Liberal Party of Canada. I joined… gee I don’t know, back when what’s his name with the squeaky voice beat out Michael Ignatieff and Bob Rae for the party leadership. I joined because I was interested in having a say in who would replace Jean Chretien or Paul Martin or however you want to look at it. At any rate, I’ve stuck it out for exactly that reason: because I want to have a say in the party going forward but as the outlook turns grimmer every year I’m beginning to wonder if I can get my money back.

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I just got done reading Warren Kinsella’s diatribe in The Walrus. It’s titled “The Biggest Losers” and, after reading it, I think the only real loser here is former Liberal strategist Kinsella himself.

For all his angry ranting and finger-pointing (not at himself, of course)—and I used to really like Kinsella, mind you—he manages to squeak out some interesting points. Namely, the the left needs to merge if it’s going to compete with the Conservative Machine and Overlord Harper. I’d like to explore this in two parts. First, at this point in the game, a merger between the Liberal Party and the New Democrats is going to be squarely in the hands of the NDP, not the Liberals. The Liberals have lost their chance to architect any sort of merger when they lost the election so badly. And, second, it’s possibly a very bad idea either way.

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Wait a second here. Remind me, what is the goal of federalist politics?

See because I thought—and maybe I’m wildly(!) naive—that the goal of the federalists was the keep the country together and, like any good club, to increase their membership.

So when a former separatist, or, for sanity’s sake let’s say a former separatist party member, decides to come on over to your side shouldn’t that be a cause for celebration? Shouldn’t there be some kind of ringing of the bells, a shower of champagne spraying out of a bottle of Dom Perignon shaken up by none other than Brian Mulroney himself? While the ghost of Pierre Trudeau dances a proper newfie jig.

All I’m saying is that I don’t get it. This whole response to interim NDP leader Nycole Turmel and her tenuous links to separatist parties.

Even  if she did vote for the Bloc Quebecois at some point—which she didn’t(!)—what is she going to do, tear the country apart as interim leader of the official opposition? Does a person’s lackluster political past mean they can never Reform their ways? There are Conservatives, Denis Lebel I’m looking at you, who admit to being “active” members of the BQ in the past. Active. And, my goodness, Stockwell Day once showed up to a presser in a wet suit and we forgave him enough to let him be President of the Treasury Board! Turmel didn’t even vote for the Bloc!

She’s been clear: she’s not a separatist, so let’s leave it at that. Wait, no, let’s not. Let’s celebrate. Because the whole point of a united Canada, like I’ve been saying, is that we need to get all excited-like about our country, and about every time someone decides that they no longer want a geo-political divorce. Hey, Canada, we’re stayin’ together… doin’ it for the kids. Bravo!

Stephen Harper may think he’s got the Liberal Party squarely in his campaign cross-hairs. He may think that he’s firing his best shots, that he is, like one Charlie Sheen, winning. He may think he’s got enough ammunition to defeat his opponents, that he’s leading the charge, that it’s take no prisoners and he’s coming out on top. I contend he’s firing blanks.

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